Last Week I witnessed a whole range of emotions within myself. A very good friend of mine lost his father. It was sudden. This singular event brought me crashing down from the euphoria I had experienced at being back in Mumbai. It forced me to face a reality that I was unwilling to do for GOD knows how long.
Death of A loved one.
My Parents, my husband, my sister, my in-laws, my friends. I have always been called a person who has been very mature for my age. But in my own childish way I perceived my loved ones to be immortal.
That does not make any sense to me, right now, that I am forced to think rationally. What appalls me about the situation is that I truly believed that I would never have to face this situation.
The wierder part of the situation is that I am not worried about my own death. I could die tomorrow for all I know. But that thought does not bother me.
May be It was a defence mechanism acquired over my years of growing up. I still am unsure of as to where I stand in my belief system. I suppose it will take time to readjust my beliefs about the pseudo - immortality of the people I hold close to my heart.
I feel the need to initiate the first step to re-evaluating my beliefs. Understanding, with it comes acknowledgement, with which comes acceptance. This is going to be an up hill battle.
A battle with whom????????????????
I am utterly confused.
I really am unsure of as to what is the first step.
I suppose realising that this is a problem could be a first step.
Right now I feel the need to just be cathartic in order to un burden myself.
One day at a time is what I am saying to myself at this moment.
4 comments:
what i meant is the fact that u tho r right as shown on the tv but in those cases fishes esp. sharks are carnivorous and they are destined to kill. But other small fishesh live in flocks for protection and this is true acc to me and discovery. also, small fish, when die are not eaten but then act as manure for the sea weeds. small fish dont eat small fish but they eat insects. in a ocean, they arent a family, but in a fish tank, i think they live like a family otherwise we would see a slightly bigger fish killing others, which obviously does not happen otherwise people wont keep tanks or would keep them w/ a single fish.
'poor little' dead fish. You too had sympathy. Imagine, the fish lived in the tank for few months w/ his 'bhai/behen/gf'. They felt a 'more grief'...:)
ohh my god...u people let blacky's soul rest in peace!!! what r u people doing???
hey..well quoted thoughts...
death is something which all of us will have to face today or tomorrow..
its the harsh truth of life!
what i feel is we generally take people in our life for granted and think they will be there forever with us but we are so wrong....
and when we have to face the harsh reality it makes us more vulnerable to face it...
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