C'est l'amour !

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments; love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
bends with the remover to remove:
O, no, it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand'ring bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his heighth be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
Perhaps it was worth a try to open up to the special woman residing secretly in his heart.

This is the 116th Sonnet written by Shakespere.
A beautiful description of what many crave for but few are blessed with. He/she who has found this love is truly blessed with the rarest of gifts. He /she who understands its value and cherishes it will attain the truest level of bliss!

After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul
You learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t mean security
You begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises
You begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open,
with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child.
You learn to build all your roads on todaybecause tomorrows ground is too uncertain for plans.
And after awhile, you learn that you really are strong and you really do have worth.

- Author unknown

Perfection

‘Perfection, the state of excellence without fault or defect, the perfect embodiment of a concept'.

Perfection, as beauty, lies in the eye of the beholder. To me , perfection is the ability to overlook flaws and search for the merits that are innate or emulated through the conscious act of learning. Perfection then is a consequence of well thought out actions and words. Perfection is the ability to strive for a better tomorrow. Perfection is the ability to understand the difference between real self and ideal self and accept that there is perefection in ones imperfections.

On a lighter note as Samuel McChord Crothers said " Try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways"

How do i love thee? - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Journey of Life

We are responsible for what we are, and whatever we wish ourselves to be, we have the power to make ourselves. If what we are now has been the result of our own past actions, it certainly follows that whatever we wish to be in future can be produced by our present actions; so we have to know how to act. Swami Vivekananda

These words are profoundly deep. Being away from my own sometimes is devastatingly overwhelming. Every thought , every action can easily swerve my psyche towards any end of the continuiim where the two ends represent failure and success. but how do i measure this , what defines my failures or my success? Is it my sense of satisfaction or is it what others percieve about my actions at the end of the day? If my present has the power to determine my future then this makes me tread even more cautiously. Is life about stepping on the right steps or is it about experiencing the journey? Does the journey count or is it the end result that decides whather a life has been wasted or whether it has been fruitful?

Questions, Dilemmas, Decisions, Choices ..................................................... A recipie for success or a disaster waiting to happen.

In Rome not quite doing what the Romans do

Retrospection

Film Name: Parasmani Year: 1963
Singer(s): Mohd. Rafi & Lata Mangeshkar
Lyricist: Asad Bhopali Musician(s): Laxmikant Pyarelal


Woh jab yaad aaye bahut yaad aaye
gham-e-zindagi ke andhere mein humne
charaag-e-mohabbat jalaaye bujhaaye
woh jab yaad aaye bahut yaad aaye

Aahaten jaag uthi raaste hans diye
thaamkar dil uthe hum kissi ke liye
kayi baar aisa bhi dhokha hua hai
chale aa rahe hai woh nazaren jhukaaye

Woh jab yaad aaye bahut yaad aaye

dil sulagne lagaa ashq behne lage
jaane kya kya humey log kehne lage
magar rotey-rotey hansee aa gayi hai
khayaalon mein aakey woh jab muskuraaye

Woh jab yaad aaye bahut yaad aaye

Woh juudaa kya hue zindagi kho gayi
shamma jalti rahi roshni kho gayi
bahut koshishey kee magar dil na behlaa
kayi saaz chhede kayi geet gaaye

Woh jab yaad aaye bahut yaad aaye

ek gazhal

Tumako dekhaa to ye khayaal aayaa

Javed Akhtar

Tumako dekhaa to ye Khayaal aayaa
zindagii dhuup tum ghanaa saayaa

Aaj phir dil ne ek tamannaa kii
aaj phir dil ko hamane samajhaayaa

Tum chale jaaoge to sochenge
hamane kyaa khoyaa, hamane kyaa paayaa

Hum jise gunagunaa nahin sakate
Vaqt ne aisaa geet kyun gaayaa

With the famed Blue Man group

words of wisdom

DON’T SHORT CHANGE YOURSELF

Most of us underestimate ourselves or shortchange ourselves. We think we are not smart enough, or we will not make it or the competition is overwhelming. This is natural because we focus on the circumstances around us and react to what we see or perceive. We allow fear or darkness to dim the light (our dreams) God has placed in our hearts. Know that you are an eagle and you are among eagles. Therefore, learn to soar like an eagle and do not come down and peck among chickens.

God has placed you where you are with all the resources at your disposal for a reason.
God has more in store for you – and his plans for you are greater than the plans you have for yourself. God is progressive, wants you to expand and grow for his higher purpose. Therefore, focus on God and not on your circumstances.

FIRE !

I was flying away ............. peeking behind clouds playing catch with birds and having the time of my life. Suddenly there was a rude noise........... a piercing one that woudnt go away........... groggily I opened my eyes to have my room-mate scream " FIRE". How can there be a fire I am flying, I thought. "No, wake up wake up" , the banshee who I thought was my room mate screeched. I pulled myself out of bed and looked at my wrist watch. It was 2 : 00 a.m. Just great. Then I looked out of the window it was raining. Even better, I thought. What would be better than evacuating in the middle of the night when it was pouring in central London. We walked down 8 stories and ambled out at our own sweet pace. People were in a horrid state. Some were barefoot, some in the most ridiculous of clothes and a few indecently clad. Well I thought One cannot expect a fashion parade when forced to get out of bed and evacuate the building in the middle of the night.
Then to add fuel to the fire, our sweet and gallant warden picked up the megaphone to murmur these words of consolation. He lovingly said, " Move you idiots Move. 50 steps to the East. Dont make me haul you there." I stood there wondering which direction was east ........ well I didnt know.. Then my friend dragged me in a particular direction. Looks like that is east was all I could think. We were completely drenched and freezing to the bone. Suddenly I remembered why I loved Indian Summers. London officially sucked at that very moment.
After what seemed a lifetime 2 fire engines came. Those monstorous firemen entered the building and then exited within 5 mins flat. I was so worked up by then that I wanted to see smoke. I didnt want to be dragged from my bed because some idiot burned toast and set of the fire alarm. And guess what thta was exactly the reason why the alarm went off in the first place.

Some one had indeed burnt toast. I WAS FURIOUS. That person ought to be shot, was all I could think.

As slowly as we had come down we proceeded to go back to our rooms.

I coudnt believe that I was soaked , freezing and in all probability suffering the initial signs of hypothermia because some one burnt their toast !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well life goes on . The culprit was never found which was well, otherwise there would have been a murder that night.

I have never seen people agree so quickly to terminate some one's existence. The motion was passed in record time. And all the guys who played football for my university live in my residence so I guess a murder could have been a reality.

A day that changed the way I shall look at this world

Yesterday afternoon I took the tube from holborn station(central line) to lamberth north (bakerloo line). My friend Nicole and I were going to the war museum. Lamberth north was a beautiful area , quite laid back and at ease. We entered the war museum , a truly magnificient architectural building. We went into the holocaust museum which is located in the same building. As i walked through thr halls, I realized the magnitude of what had happened over 70 years ago.
I had read about it and talked about it, but seeing the pictures and hearing people talk about their experiences as children during the holocaust overwhelmed me. The jews of germany were treated worse than low lying worms. They were humiliated, disgraced , torchered and massacered simply because they were followers of Judaism.
I thought what is it that perpetuates such hate and despise in human beings. Why did the nazis deplore the jews with such a vehemance that they took upon the horrendous task of trying to wipe them off the face of this earth.
I saw a documentary where hitler and others talked about the purity of the aryan race and that any contact with the jews was defiling the blood of their noble ancestery.
what kind of nobility is this? And it wasnt just the men , nazi women also relished at the chance of ordering death sentences and torcher.
That shook me. I could not believe the pictures I saw in front of me , where bodies were piled in mass burial grounds and were being checked for hidden valuables before they would be plowed with mud to cover them up.
The inhumanity of the entire period made me stop and think.
I was here now , I was lucky to be born in a particular family , in a particular country , in a perticular time.
I could not begin to digest what those people must have felt.
So many pictures , so many lives, so many unfulfilled desires and wishes.........
Every photograph had a story of human suffering. Every photograph was a testament to the fact that a family had suffered , that a child had lost his / her innocence in that cruel time.
My heart broke for those innocent children who suffered.
What had they done to deserve this? I heard a story where jewish people were supposed to step out of the way of nazi soldiers. One child of 6 didnt move away fast enough. The nazi soldier pulled out his gun and shot her through her head...........................................
Was her crime so huge? Then WHY?
I had always blistered over the fact that the Hindu symbol of swastika was banned through out Europe. I still dont accept it but now I understand why.......
It was a symbol of nazi cruelty, of death and destruction, of a malaise in the society that took the lives of over 6 million innocent people.
By the time I stepped out of the holocaust musuem , I was shaken and wished to the almighty that those poor souls had found some peace in their passing..................

london eye

first experience of a british pub - shakespere's pub. I thought it would be appropriate to start from this pub because i love shakespere.
it wasnt as fancy as i thought it would be. was actually quite laid back and fun. not pricey either and in central london quite a find!It is located on kingsway which goes from holborn tube station to aldwych in the camden borough of central london.
This place was packed to the hilt with people and to my annoyance SMOKE.
I have noticed one thing about Europeans in generalis that they smoke cigarette which is like in tons. I think the people here pollute the air more than the vehicles do. I sincerely felt that the congestion tax levied on the vehicles should have been renamed as pollution tax and should have been instead levied on people. So more revenue or less smoke. Either way a win win situation.
People here are really like chimneys. I completely fail to see tha appeal in smoking away your hard earned money as well as your health.
The British people are also very wierd.It is a normal custom in India and also USA ( American friends confirrmed this ) that if you see some one on the road you recognize by face you give them a smile/ nod of acknowledgement. here if you do that, people look at you as if you are deranged. My My My these brits are a funny stock.
okay back on the subject of pubs......... veggies beware.........double check everything before you dig in . the selection of veg dishes is normally measly. but still choosing from 3 dishes took me so long. It was ridiculous................
In the end , i ordered a dish called the panini- which is a baguette sandwichwith tomatoes, mozarella cheese and pesto sauce. It wsa super duper fantabulously delicious. I even tried the treacle tart. It was a drop of heaven. Pure unimagined delight.
we must have been the first customers of the club since its opening to walk upto the bar and order water. We received many a funny stares.
The meal cost us 3:25 sterling pounds which is pretty decent in central london.
later we walked down to the tate museum on the bankside. went a little crazy doing the touristy things. My room-mate shashi and I must have clicked a zillion snaps of anything right from the light bulbs which were hung from the trees to the promenade that along the thames.
In the tate museum, I had my first glimpse of a Monet original. Was so awed by it that for the first time during the length of the entire evening I was speechless.
"The waterlilies" - my favourite painting was in front of my eyes. I must have gazed at it with adoration for 30 minutes before the guard asked us to leaveas it was the closing time.
with a last glance and a promise that I would return all of us resumed the freezing journey back home.........................................................

Finallement je suis `a l'Angleterre

WELL THE DAY HAD TO COME SOME TIME . I HAD MARKED A COUNT DOWN ON MY KALNIRNAY. WELLTHE MUCH AWAITED DAY ARRIVED 19/09/2005.
THANKFULLY VARUNRAJA WAS COOPERATING. RAINS HAD LET UP. IT WAS ACTUALLY SUNNY THAT DAY. I REACHED MUMBAI INTL AIRPORT AT AROUND 12:30 AM ON THE 19TH AFTER SAYING ADIEU TO MY FAMILY AND A TEDIOUS BALANCING ACT OF MY OH SO VERY OBVIOUS OVERWEIGHT BAGGAGE, BEGAN PUSHING THE TROLLEY.
THE DAMN THING HAD A FUNNY WHEEL AND I MUST HAVE BANGED INTO ALMOST EVERY THIRD PERSON IN THE AIRPORT. AFTER PROFUSE AND SHEEPISH APOLOGIES AND WITH SARANG AND MY PARENTS LAUGHING AT MY PATHETIC ATTEMPTS AT TROLLEY PUSHING ENTERED THE AIRPORT.
IT WAS THEN THAT I ENTERED THE WORLD OF SELF SERVICE IN ITS TRUE SENSE. I CURSED MYSELF IN UNMENTIONABLES OVER HORDING MY BAGS. HOW IN THE WORLD DID THOSE AIRPORT PEOPLE EXPECT ME TO LIFT AND PLACE BAGS THAT WEIGHED ALMOST AS MUCH AS I DID ON THE XRAY BELT STILL IS UNOMPREHANDABLE TO ME. AFTER THAT WAS DONE I PROCEEDED TO THE AIRINDIA COUNTER FOR CHECKING IN MY BAGS AND COLLECTING MY BOARDING PASS. THERE I DISCOVERED THAT MY BAGS WERE ALMOST 8 KGS OVER THE PERMITTED LIMIT. AND I WAS ALLOWED 10 KGS AS I AM ON A STUDENT VISA. I MANAGED TO EXCEED THAT BY 8 KGS. I AMAZE MYSELF.

THATS WHEN I MUST HAVE UTILIZED THE ENTIRE AMUL BUTTER PRODUCTION OF THE BEAUTIFUL CITY OF MUMBAI ON THAT SINGLE ENTITY, THE AIR INDIA CHECK IN OFFICER. IT MUST HAVE WORKED BECAUSE I DIDNT PAY A SINGLE NAYA PAISA.

HE HE HE GOT TO CARRY HUMUNGOUS BAGS WITHOUT PAYING FINE. DIDNT EVEN HAVE TO HAGGLE.

PROCEEDED TO IMMIGRATION WHERE I HAD A SECOND NARROW ESCAPE . I WAS CARRYING A DIGICAM FOR WHICH THERE WAS NO RECEIPT. AGAIN GOT AWAY UNSCATHED.

FINALLY AFTER COMPLETING A SUPER BORING WAIT BOARDED THE PLANE AT 3AM.

MY FLIGHT WAS AI 111 MUMBAI - DELHI - LONDON - NEW YORK.
WHAT POSSESSED ME TO TAKE THIS FLIGHT I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO EXPLAIN IN A MILLION YEARS. IT WAS SUPERB ATTEMPT OF AIRINDIA TO GUARANTEE A HANGOVER THAT WAS TO LAST FOR DAYS TO COME.

THE FLIGHT WAS OKAY BETTER THAN THE HARROWING PICTURE GLEEFULLY PAINTED BY PEOPLE BASHING AI.

I WOULD LIKE TO EMPHATICALLY MENTION HERE THAT THE TOILETS ARE CLEAN AND AS HYGIENIC AS CAN BE POSSIBLE IN THE CIRCUMSTANCES.

THIS IS TO THOSE PEOPLE WHO WERE JOYOUSLY MENTIONING HOW AESTHETICALLY BEAUTIFUL THE TOILETS IN BA ARE. OKAY ENOUGH ABT TOILETS.

LANDED AT LONDON AT 11:05 AM (GMT) AGAIN THE HEATHROW PEOPLE ARE VERY SMART . ALMOST ALL INTL FLIGHTS LAND ON TERMINAL 3 BUT AMERICAN AIRLINES HAVE BETTER LANDING SPOTS THAN AI FLIGHTS. IF THE FLIGHT HASNT SUCKED THE LIFE OUT OF YOU THE WALK DEFINITELY WILL.

THEN COME THE PEOPLE AT IMMIGRATION WHO ACT AS IF PEOPE FROM DEVELOPING COUNTRIES ARE BREEDING STOCKS OF ALL GOD IMAGINED DISEASES.

THE SAD PART IS THAT 90 % OF THE PEOPLE MANNING THESE IMMIGRATION POSTS ARE SOUTH ASIAN.

AFTER THAT, THE WALK OUT OF THAT AIRPORT WAS TOO SMOOTH AND HASSLE FREE ITS STILL SINKING IN.

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THE EUPHORIA WAS TOO REAL TO LAST LONG. AND WHAT KILLED YES THE PRIDE OF LONDON TRANSPORT "THE BLACK CAB".
IF SOMETHING CAN BLEED YOU DRY FINANCIALLY ITS THE LONDON BLACK CAB WHICH ARENT ALWAYS BLACK BY THE WAY.

THE RIDE FROM HEATHROW TO HIGH HOLBORN, CAMDEN WHIGH IS A BOROUGH IN CENTRAL LONDON COST ME A WHOOPING £ 50.
I HADNT EVEN FINISHED MOURNING THAT LOSS WHEN I HAD TO BEGIN THE REGISTRATION AT HIGH HOLBORN RESIDENCE WHERE I WOULD BE STAYING FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR.

I WAS ASSIGNED TO A SINGLE ROOM ON THE 6TH FLOOR. THE BONUS BEING IT HAS A FANTABULOUS VIEW. I CAN SEE THE LONDON EYE FROM MY WINDOW. (PICTURES SHALL BE POSTED SOON)

ITS BEEN SMOOTH SAILING SINCE THEN.

I WAS A LITTLE OVERWHELMED AT FIRST.
BUT AS TIME AND TIDE PASS ITS SINKING IN SLOWLY ONE STEP AT A TIME.

I REALIZED THAT I HAD MANY MISCONCEPTIONS REGARDING THE BRITISH PEOPLE .


1) THEY ARE NOT VERY TALL. SARANG SOME WOMEN HERE ARE SHORTER THAN ME. YES THIS IS TRUE I AM NOT LAPETING.

2) ENGLISH SHOP KEEPERS CAN BE VERY FRIENDLY IF YOU BUY STUFF FROM THEM AND THEYLL REMEMBER YOU AND ALWAYS GREET YOU .

3) I TRULY UNDERESTIMATED THE INDIAN POPULATION IN LONDON. EVERY THIRD PERSON IS FROM SOUTH ASIA AND EVERY SIXTH IS AN INDIAN. I AM STARTING TO BELIEVE SOON THE BIGGEST NATIONALITY IN THE WORLD IS GOING TO BE INDIAN.

4)I MUST BE ONE OF THE COLLECTED NEW STUDENTS HERE. THE OTHER DAY A GIRL FAINTED BECAUSE SHE WAS LATE FOR CLASS.
I MEAN SHEEEEEP TALK ABOUT PRESSURE.

ALL SAID AND DONE NOW I UNDERSTAND WHAT HOME MEANS. IT IS NOT A PLACE WHERE 4 WALLS MEET BOT A PLACE WHERE YOUR HEART IS.

THATS ALL FOR NOW FOLKS.
HOPE YOU ENJOYED READING THE COMPLETE WORKS OF SUNILA GOES TO LONDON.
CIAO
SUNILA

Dreams Unlimited

Never have been dormant for so long.

I have moved frequently in my life but never alone. Never without reinforcements.

A journey whose culmination is so far away that it almost weakens my resolve.

A dream so variable that it causes me to almost stumble.

A hope so innate it ensures attainment of my aspirations.

Felix Qui Potuit Rerum Cognoscere Causas

Felix Qui Potuit Rerum Cognoscere Causas means
Happy (is s/he) who isable to know the causes of things.

Vergil, Georgics 2.490 (ref. to Lucretius)

“Felix, qui potuit rerum cognoscere causas,atque metus omnis et inexorabile fatumsubiecit pedibus strepitumque Acherontis avari.Fortunatus et ille, deos qui novit agrestis,Panaque Silvanumque senem Nymphasque sorores”

“Blessed is he whose mind had power to probe
The causes of things and trample underfoot
All terrors and inexorable fate
And the clamour of devouring Acheron;
But happy too is he who knows the gods of the countryside,
knows Panand old Silvanus
And the sister Nymphs.”

Translated by L. P. Wilkinson

I'm Back

Since I started this blog this is the first time that I have been dormant for so long a period.
I don’t know why but recently I have been feeling very sluggish. Mumbai weather is driving me crazy. It rained so heavily that I thought we would have a swimming pool on the street in front of our house. Since then it feels as if I am living in a desert because there has been no rainfall.

My life is turning into a frenzy with vaccination, dentist’s appointments, Insurance (personal, travel), booking tickets, shopping.

Recently I started the great mission of clearing out the things I did not need. Emptying out my cupboard was not as easy as I thought it would be. I am not a hoardist. But every little thing has some memory attached to it. Prioritizing favorites among different memories is difficult……….. Correction very difficult.

It was as if I was the only person who was in transition. The rest of my family though hyperactive was still constant and fixed. I was the variable.

Didn’t feel good.

I am already feeling a sense of loss of bereavement.

The problem is people around me are acting so cool. . It is making me feel as if I am overly emotional. The fact is I am not.

My parents and Sarang are more comfortable with the idea of me going abroad than people would have liked them to be. My relatives were shocked that I wanted to continue my studies after my marriage. They thought I would soon settle down in matrimonial bliss which means have kids, watch soaps, gossip, and living through other people.

People were actually outraged when I announced I was going abroad to pursue higher education. A few of them actually had the atrocious nerve to ask Sarang how he had permitted me to do this.

Sarang as usual was so cool about it that it left these nosy trouble makers embarrassed and feeling a little stupid.

Kudos hubby dear.

I suppose this is just one of those phases I am prone to time and again and that it will pass.

Operation visa commence.

I am beginning my Visa process. It isn't as tedious as the US visa but can still give me palpitation all the same.
The wierd part of the UK visa is that there are no clear regulations as to what docs need to be submitted. Its at your discretion said the VFS lady.
If it was really at my discretion I should be getting my visa with only my passport at hand.
It is quite crazy.
Any way the only piece of good news today was that Dukes aced her exams. thank GOD.
At least aai will sleep happy tonite.

From Grief hopefully will come Relief !

Last Week I witnessed a whole range of emotions within myself. A very good friend of mine lost his father. It was sudden. This singular event brought me crashing down from the euphoria I had experienced at being back in Mumbai. It forced me to face a reality that I was unwilling to do for GOD knows how long.

Death of A loved one.

My Parents, my husband, my sister, my in-laws, my friends. I have always been called a person who has been very mature for my age. But in my own childish way I perceived my loved ones to be immortal.

That does not make any sense to me, right now, that I am forced to think rationally. What appalls me about the situation is that I truly believed that I would never have to face this situation.

The wierder part of the situation is that I am not worried about my own death. I could die tomorrow for all I know. But that thought does not bother me.

May be It was a defence mechanism acquired over my years of growing up. I still am unsure of as to where I stand in my belief system. I suppose it will take time to readjust my beliefs about the pseudo - immortality of the people I hold close to my heart.

I feel the need to initiate the first step to re-evaluating my beliefs. Understanding, with it comes acknowledgement, with which comes acceptance. This is going to be an up hill battle.

A battle with whom????????????????

I am utterly confused.

I really am unsure of as to what is the first step.

I suppose realising that this is a problem could be a first step.

Right now I feel the need to just be cathartic in order to un burden myself.

One day at a time is what I am saying to myself at this moment.